Run, Change, Rearrange

Every time there's an ache or frustration in my life I try to find out what it would take to get far away from feeling that way again.

Moving, changing jobs, rearranging furniture...change is what I feel I need when life doesn't go my way.

But what am I running from and why am I so afraid of being stuck & dependent on others...and God?

When things get tough I try to smooth it out instead of asking God what I am to learn through this rough patch.

Why is it so hard to lean on God?

He's proven himself over and over to me that he's faithful, that he's good, and his plans for me are perfect.

Why do I think I'm competent to do it on my own?

I'm not! It's more fear to let go of my will.

This last year was hell, and even though God blessed us immensley, I'm afraid to give up control because I fear the unknown and the hurts that accompany it.